Am I a Resonant Leader

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After completing the exercise, you will now have likely discovered that many people operate on poor assumptions on what great leadership is.  You now realize that emotions do matter. From your work assignment, you have a greater self-awareness of your status as a resonant leader.   Resonant leaders need to be highly self-aware, manage themselves in stressful and complex environments, empathize with others, and lead others to get the job done.

Based on the workbook exercise, post to your blog describing what surprises you discovered about yourself when completing the exercise. Cite examples where you feel you fell short.

Do I create an overall positive emotional tone that is characterized by hope? How?

Creating a positive tone characterized by hope is important to me and something that I have devoted much time and energy to improve. This area of leadership was not always foremost in my mind as a young man. For example, as a young leader, I was very achievement orientated. My drive to excel far outweighed my desire to develop positive and meaningful relationships. However, as I gained valuable experience and risen to an organizational leadership level, developing positive relationships and influencing was the key factor in success.

My first step to improve connecting with others and developing a positive tone was to expand my point of view about relationships, what success meant to me, and how I could best increase my influence. In other words, I began by becoming more mindful. According to McKee, Boyatzis, & Frances (2008), “Mindfulness means learning to live in a state of reflection and openness, in which we are tuned in to self, others, and our environment. Not only has being more mindful benefited my ability to develop positive relationships, it has also adjusted my aim for achievement to include connecting with others.

Am I in touch with others? Do I really know what is in others’ hearts and on their minds? How do I show this?

As noted above, connecting with others beyond the typical casual conversation is a work in progress. Being in touch with others is the surest way to make meaningful connections and provide the best feedback or guidance (if needed). One key element in knowing what’s in other’s hearts and minds is to observe and listen. For example, we send off many key signals when we communicate. One of my strengths is having to ability to identify (listen & observe) what is being communicated and how it is being communicated to better interpret someone’s message. When we genuinely care about being in touch with others, we are better suited to picking up on these elements.

Do I regularly experience and demonstrate compassion? How?

Demonstrating compassion is another area that I have worked diligently to improve. There was a time, as a young man, I thought being emotional and showing compassion were linked; and I was hardly the emotional type. I have identified the folly in my understanding between being emotional and showing compassion. Demonstrating compassion has proven to be essential when working with others, especially when leading others. Demonstrating compassion plays a significant role in the humane dynamics. According to McKee et al. (2008), “Compassion is empathy in action. Like hope, it sparks positive physiological changes that counter the negative effects of stress” (p. 39). One of the most effective ways I have learned to demonstrate compassion is to play an active role in those around me. In other words, I seek to learn more about them, what they value, share experiences, and shoulder a burden if necessary. Those that are truly grateful tend to perform much more effectively.

Am I authentic and in tune with myself, others, and the environment? How can people see this in me?

I believe myself to be self-aware and sure in my values, which contributes to my authenticity. I have always been willing to seek experiences that are challenging and keep me out of my comfort zone. I have found that doing so helps to reveal my strengths and weaknesses. For example, not being particular found of heights, I took flying lessons; not being a fan of enclosed spaces, I went out and earned a scuba certification; not know about a topic, I read a book about it. In other words, I had identified many of my own limitations and decided to meet them head-on. Through these wonderful and challenging experiences, I learned how to positively “self-talk” and remain focused; learning so much more about myself. Mckee et al. (2008) notes that, “Good leaders know their strengths, limitations, values, and principles. They believe in their own capability and convey self-assurance and efficacy” (p. 26). This strategy has helped shape my leadership style in a way that relates to other’s challenges and apprehension. Yet, at the same time, being able to promote and reinforce their strengths to overcome their weakness. Furthermore, for some, having an example of meeting challenges head-on provides the necessary “push” for them to take action. In fact, I have had many people share their thoughts on how some of my examples has inspired them to seek out their own strengths and limitations. Something about it resonated with them enough to learn more about themselves.

Reference

McKee, A., Boyatzis, R. & Frances, J. (2008). Becoming a Resonant Leader (8^th ed.). Harvard Business Press.